Both Ends: The Long Distance of Happiness and Sorrow
- Publication: Groundswell
- Year: 2023
- Author or artist: Stanley Briones
- Type: Non-fiction
You are close enough to make me feel home, yet you are so far away to make me feel lonely. Why don’t you hold me and let’s make memories as we go. Those smiles are brighter than the blinding lights in the background. And the touch of your hand creates a safe environment just like the healthy plants beside us. However, why do I feel like there is something more. It’s hard to determine so I will tell you more about it. This is a story that has meaning in my life. A family that separated to live different lives. And the fact that we are both on the opposite side of the Earth. So don’t get surprised. Begin to feel the happiness I felt when I look at this photo and the sorrow that comes next after the unexpected realization I felt.
This picture was taken at our house’s roof top back in the Philippines. I am the guy on the left side corner, my brother is on the opposite side and beside me is my sister. Those two people in the middle are my grandparents. It was really fun having a family get together that day. As the camera clicked, we just couldn’t stop but to smile as bright as the light in the background and as pretty as those green plants. None of us can show what we really feel, since we have to smile for everyone to see that we are happy.
In this picture we see my family smiling. We are so close to each other as if we are feeling each other’s emotions. My grandparents’ arms are on each other’s shoulders to see how close they are and to feel warmth to each other’s touches. My sister’s head resting on my grandfather’s shoulder makes her feel comfortable by his side. Not just hers, but my brother and I also felt safe whenever we were around my grandparents. The background makes a perfect scenery since we are way up the last floor. The bright light is almost as if the one that makes the warmth felt that we felt during that time. Those healthy plants are my grandmother’s pride and joy. She takes care of them almost everyday. She loves taking care of them just like how she takes care of us. The picture looks simpler than they look, but for me, whenever I look at it brings so many good memories.
To start the story, way before that day in the picture. My mom and my sister finally visited the Philippines after so many years. The reason is to pick me and my brother to go with them to the United States. I waited my whole life for that to happen and finally the day has come. As happy as I am to be with my parents, I am worried about how my grandparents would feel about that since we did grow up with them to begin with. Going back now, this picture was taken before we departed to the United States. The emotions they show that day are filled with sorrow. Seeing my grandmother crying while hugging us tightly and my grandfather sitting in the chair, looking out the window with so many thoughts in his mind makes me feel emotional. I guess pictures really do make you remember the past, whether it’s a good one or a bad one. Looking at this picture right now, it really brings back those unpleasant memories. In “In Plato’s Cave”, Susan Sontag said that, “A photograph is both a pseudo – presence and a token of absence” (16). This is relatable to me because I am feeling the absence of my family back in the Philippines whenever I am looking at this photo. Knowing that I would probably never see them again depending on the situation, things can be changed so easily. I would miss them if that ever happened. They will be but memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. And looking at photographs is just a way to remember those memories. I am not saying those words because I will never see them again, I am just thinking of possibilities that will happen in this unpredictable future.
The way my grandparents might think about this photo might contradict the way I think about what it is. Well not really too much of a contradiction. It’s more like the way they might see this photo creates deeper meaning for them or creates a sentimental value that makes them feel uneasy. The way I see the photo is that it feels just like someone who is home sick or just missing home. Yes, I am sad that I am so far away from them and it is hard for us to see each other from now on. However, knowing them, they get way too emotional in this kind of subject. I am picturing them right now that they will surge in sadness if ever they see this picture. It’s only given since me and my brother grew up with them. They care for us dearly and they will keep us safe everytime they think something is wrong. They like keeping pictures and putting them in a photo album. They always ask us about our newest photos. I guess this shows how they value photos as much to keep them in mind all these amazing memories that happened in the past. It is as if they want to be part of our journey by collecting our old and new photos. This is just how they are. The smile in the picture in figure 1 might seems so convincing, but the picture it is is the trigger for their deepest sad emotions.
It is interesting to say though how people might think about this picture. “One never understands anything from a photograph” (23). Susan Sontag said in “In Plato’s Cave”. I guess they might say how happy we are all together, like a family, smiling with no care in the world and just some important occasion that is happening in the picture. Probably others might think it differently or probably just like the way I think it is. There are so many possible explanations you can get by a single glance at a picture. There is no right or wrong answer, but what’s important is how the people in the actual picture might think what it is. Then, people will have a deeper understanding of how to interpret the picture. They might even think deeper than that and say deeper meaning to make it more interesting. It is really hard to come to a conclusion about our thought process in the picture. But I guess that’s just how a picture can be a mystery. They are just a simple image, but if we look at it even deeper, they are more than what we expect it is.
I remember the first time we video called my family back in the Philippines. I say it feels really different because I am used to seeing them in person, but I am happy that I have experience on this kind of event since I used to video call my mom as well back then. We are happy to talk to them and I am happy that they are doing great there. When I talked to my grandmother that time, as the conversation went by she started crying out of nowhere. My grandmother is always telling us about how we live back in the Philippines. It is as if she is bringing back old memories and convincing herself that we are going through some changes. Whenever she tells stories about us when we were kids, I realize that it is really nice for them to become part of my memories. That is the best thing that happened to me and my life. My grandfather’s feelings tell a different story. He always tells us to keep safe and to keep each other’s backs at all times. He tells us to be tough and not to create trouble for my parents. It really saddened him to be parted with for the first time in his life. My grandmother is so gentle, but scary sometimes. My grandfather is like a sturdy pillar that is a back bone in our family. Protect us and spoil us till we can stand on our own feet. They are a really awesome family that I can trust. They are not so perfect, but I can tell those smiles in the picture in figure 1 are at least true. In a way of feeling reassuring.
Photographs are really interesting if we create deeper meaning into it. It’s convincing how people like to take pictures almost everyday. Photos are records of our past, present and future. We captured every moment in our lives. We look at them and just realize a lot of things. Whether we feel happy or sad. Photos are the symbol of our success and failure in life. We just have to make a difference and give it our all. I guess it’s time to take pictures now and create memories as you go. You will be glad you did it.
Work Cited
Sontag, Susan. “In Plato’s Cave.” On Photography, Picador, 2001. pp. 3-24.